We Listen And We Don't Judge. Or Do We?
EYE GOT SOMETHING TO SAY
This weekend I was traveling, wearing a shirt that said: We listen and we don't judge.
By LaTonya MeChelle
Every minute you spend judging somebody else is a minute you're not spending on you.
I walk into a gas station in the middle of nowhere. I think I know my pump number, but I'm not sure. So I get to the counter and ask the lady, "Hey, can you see the cameras to check the pump numbers?"
"No, not really."
With an attitude.
Now, keep in mind, I'm a Black woman in the middle of nowhere, and she's a white woman behind that counter. And I'll be honest with you, because that's what we do here now. In my head, I could have judged her. Easy. But I'm working on me. I'm working on my mouth. I can't control how other people are. So I said, cool, whatever.
Then she reads my shirt out loud. "We listen and we don't judge." She looks right at me and says, "Yes, we do."
I looked at her and said, "Maybe you shouldn't. Maybe for once, look in the mirror at your own life before you think to judge another person."
She looked at me like she might cuss me out. Then she smiled and said, "You're right."
Y'all. When are we going to get to the point where we stop judging people?
We'll pick one thing out of the Bible, make it the worst thing in the world, and walk right past everything we're doing wrong. Where did we learn to look at everybody else just so we can put them down?
Same trip. Tulsa. Solo. I'm about to walk into a restaurant and I see this man. I'm pretty sure he was homeless. And he's wearing a shirt about being cranked up for Jesus, with the biggest smile on his face.
I couldn't do anything but smile and wave. Because he was wearing that shirt proudly, in spite of whatever he was going through. And it reminded me of who I am. Everything I've overcome. How grateful I should be.
You don't know anybody's story. We don't. Even the people who tell us their story, we only know what they chose to tell us. We don't know the full story. But we love to assume.
Parents, this one's for us too. We judge our kids without knowing the full story. Without remembering what we went through at their age. Without admitting what we're going through right now, that probably isn't right either.
And can we talk about second chances? I'm so proud of Tyler Perry for Doing Life, a story about a man coming home from prison and building a life. Because people look at felons and ex-convicts like they're the worst people in the world. And in most cases? Plenty of people have done much worse. They just didn't get caught.
I could go on and on about this. But here's the bottom line.
Every minute you spend judging somebody else is a minute you're not spending on you. Look in the mirror. Better yourself. Clean up your own house. And give people the same grace you'd want if they only knew one page of your story.
So tell me: when's the last time you judged somebody and found out you were wrong?
Want to see what's really going on with you before you look at anybody else? Start with my free test at latonyamechelle.com.
Eye Am LaTonya MeChelle.
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