I TOLD EVERYBODY I GOT HIT IN THE EYEBALL WITH A FOOTBALL.

AND MORE THAN THIS

Rebuilding after losing everything, including the stretch I lived in my car and kept coaching anyway. Reinvention past the age the world quietly writes women off. Becoming the person you needed instead of waiting on one.

None of that is a sad story. It is where my whole system came from.

Here is the part I had to learn first. What you went through is not who you are. What you are sitting in right now is not who you are either. Those are things that happened and things you are walking through. They are experiences. They are not your identity, and they do not get to hand you one.

The CHOICES Lifestyle and the WOW FACTOR Mindset are not new. I have been living them and teaching them for years. CHOICES is Constantly Having Opportunity to Increase Change and Empower Self, and it is the choosing. Everybody has a choice to make, and the smart ones take the opportunity. The WOW FACTOR Mindset is walking in it. Self love, putting in the work and consistently putting in the work, making yourself a priority, and having so little room left to judge anybody that loving other people gets easy. I built both of those. I named both of those. They did not come out of a book. They came out of my life.

DONE DUMMIFYING came later, and it is not where anybody starts. You do not get to walk in DONE DUMMIFYING until you have done the work and found out who you actually are. It came to me as a reminder. Do not get so comfortable making sure everybody else is good that you forget about yourself. And know this. Everybody cannot take it that you overcame. Everybody cannot see you at the top. Everybody cannot take that you are no longer in a funk and no longer broke. So you lay back when you are supposed to keep walking in it. That is what dummifying is, and it is ongoing. I still catch myself.

Nobody ever promised anybody a rose garden. And a rose is surrounded by thorns anyway. You still get to have it. You just have to figure out how to get around the thorns instead of sitting down in front of them. Do not sit down. Keep moving.

I do not tell any of it for sympathy. I tell it because it makes me relatable, and relatable is why my clients trust me enough to actually do the work. I am proof that a bad situation does not get the final say. And you would never know one thing I have been through by looking at me.

Do all three and you earn the sentence I live by. I do not conform to the world. The world conforms to me.

If your room needs something you do not see here, ask me.

WHAT I SPEAK ON

I Said It Was A Football

Twelve years of domestic violence, and the lies I told to keep it quiet. For survivors, shelters, coalitions, church groups, women’s conferences, and October programming. They walk away with permission to stop covering, and a picture of what leaving actually looked like, including how long it took.

I Became Him

I was a victim for twelve years. Then I became an abuser. This is the talk almost nobody will give. For advocacy organizations, counselors and case workers, reentry programs, and anybody working the cycle from the inside. They walk away with the thing nobody says out loud, that hurt people do not automatically become healers, and what it takes to break the line instead of passing it down.

Nobody Was Checking On Me

Raising a son by myself, and what that does to a woman while everybody watches the boy. For single mothers, parenting programs, women’s ministries, and family services. They walk away with the exhaustion nobody asks about named out loud, and the difference between surviving motherhood and disappearing into it.

It Does Not Stop At Twenty Five

Date raped at forty eight. Sexual harassment as a grown professional woman. What happens when it occurs to a woman the world has already decided is past it. For workplace and HR programming, campus and community groups, and sexual assault awareness programming. They walk away with the age myth broken, and language for women who were assaulted late and told themselves it did not count.

Leaving In Spite Of

Walking away from a Black man, and the pressure that says do not, from people who will not be the ones living in that house. For Black women’s groups, faith communities, and relationship programming. They walk away with the cost named honestly on both sides, and the difference between loyalty and captivity.

Be The Example You Needed

The one I built everything else on. Nobody was coming. So I became her. For keynotes, graduations, leadership and women’s empowerment events, and general audiences. They walk away with the CHOICES Lifestyle, choosing yourself on purpose, and the WOW FACTOR that comes after.