The Fake Smile That Almost Killed Me

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Hey Honeybuns,

One of the things you'll notice the more you follow me is that I love art—especially bodyless faces with wild, funky designs. The funkier, the better.

Why?

Because to me, they tell a story without saying a word. They reveal what's beneath the surface. The chaos. The beauty. The truth hiding behind what we show the world.

Kind of like when I look at my clients. Or my friends. Or even myself when I look in the mirror daily—something that took me a damn long time to do.

For most of my life, I avoided mirrors like they were the enemy. I really didn't know what I looked like, and honestly? It didn't matter. Because what's the point of looking in the mirror if you're not ready to face your true self?

People used to tell me I had the prettiest smile.

What they didn't know was that my son once told me I had the fakest smile he'd ever seen.

And he was right.

The Smile That Wasn't Mine

My smile was a performance. A mask I wore to survive. I was living for everyone else—playing the role they needed me to play, smiling on cue, keeping the peace. I didn't know who I was. I just knew how to make other people comfortable.

And I hated it.

But here's the thing most people don't want to admit: nobody really cares if you're dying inside. They only care about what you can do for them or whether you're playing along with their version of reality.

So I kept smiling. Fake as hell. Hollow as an echo.

I was married. Miserable. Getting my tail whooped on a regular basis. Who in the world wants to look in the mirror and face that person every day? To be reminded of the life you hate so much that even your reflection feels like a betrayal?

By that point, I had short hair. Wrap it and go. No maintenance. No effort. No reason to linger in front of a mirror longer than I had to.

I was surviving, not living. And my smile? It was the biggest lie I ever told.

The Stranger Who Saw Through Me

Then one day, I met a man who changed everything.

We were in a week-long professional class together. I noticed him immediately because he was fine—you know the type. But I had zero self-esteem, no self-worth, nothing. So I made sure he never caught me looking. Plus, I was married. Trapped, but married.

On the last day of class, he approached me. When I smiled at him, he said, "Oh my gosh, you have a pretty smile."

I mumbled, "Thank you," and tried to walk away.

But he stopped me.

"I've been watching you all week," he said. "You don't pay attention to your surroundings. You're lost in your own world. That's not good."

I froze. Because he was right.

He saw me. The real me. The one I'd been hiding from everyone, including myself.

We exchanged business cards—strictly professional. But that moment planted a seed. He didn't try to save me. He didn't preach at me. He just held up a mirror I couldn't ignore.

A couple of months later, I left my husband. For the fourth time. But this time, I didn't come back.

Well, I came back once. But that's another post. Just know I didn't come back as the same weak woman who let him rule her world.

The 20-Year Journey to My Real Smile

Here's what nobody tells you about healing: it takes time. A lot of it.

It took me twenty years to truly heal and find myself. Twenty years to stop performing and start living. Twenty years to look in the mirror and not see a stranger staring back at me.

And truth be told? I'm still finding myself. Every single day, I wake up excited to continue the journey. To discover another layer. To peel back another lie I believed about who I was supposed to be.

I now spend more time in the mirror—not out of vanity, but out of love. Loving on me. Appreciating me. Seeing me for the first time in my life.

When I say I earned my smile, I mean it.

For so long, I lived in hell and thought I was completely alone. But my smile now? It's my confirmation that my Creator truly loves me. And it got even better when I decided to love myself right along with the divine energy that kept me alive through it all.

My smile is no longer a mask. It's proof that I survived. That I chose myself. That I finally woke up.

Why I'm Telling You This

I'm not sharing this story to impress you or to make you feel sorry for me.

I'm sharing it because somebody out there is reading this right now, wearing the same fake smile I used to wear. Going through the motions. Surviving instead of living. Avoiding mirrors because facing yourself feels like too much.

And I need you to know: you're not alone.

I became a coach and speaker not because I have it all figured out. I became one because I needed somebody—anybody—when I was drowning in my own hell. I needed someone to see me. To call me out on my mess. To remind me that the life I was living wasn't the life I was meant for.

It's a terrible feeling to be surrounded by so-called loved ones and still feel completely invisible.

So I made a promise to myself: if I ever got out, I would become the person I needed when I was lost.

That's what LoveChology is about. That's why I created the CHOICES Lifestyle (Constantly Having Opportunities to Increase Change & Empower Self) and the WOW FACTOR Mindset. I didn't create these frameworks to sound cute or build a brand. I created them because they saved my life. And I know they work—if you really want them to work.

The Lesson

Here's what I learned from that stranger, from twenty years of healing, and from finally looking myself in the mirror:

You can't live authentically if you're too afraid to face yourself.

Every time you avoid your reflection—literal or metaphorical—you're choosing to stay small. You're choosing the performance over the truth. You're choosing survival over freedom.

And listen, I get it. Facing yourself is terrifying. It means admitting that the life you've been living isn't working. It means letting go of the person everyone expects you to be. It means risking everything for a version of yourself you're not even sure exists yet.

But here's the thing: that version does exist. It's been waiting for you this whole time.

The real you—the one buried under the fake smiles, the survival mode, the people-pleasing—is still in there. Waiting to be seen. Waiting to be loved. Waiting for you to finally choose yourself.

So stop avoiding the mirror.

Look at yourself. Really look. Not at your flaws or your failures or all the ways you think you don't measure up. Look at the person who survived everything they've been through. Look at the strength it took to make it this far. Look at the potential you've been ignoring because you were too busy playing small.

That person? That's who you're meant to become.

What's Coming Next

This is just the beginning.

Over the coming weeks and months, I'm going to take you deeper into my world. I'll share the messy, uncomfortable, raw truth about what it really takes to transform your life. I'll call you out when you're making excuses. I'll celebrate you when you finally choose yourself.

And most importantly? I'll remind you that you're not alone in this.

Because I've been where you are. And I made it out. Not perfect. Not polished. But free.

And that freedom? It's worth every uncomfortable moment, every hard conversation, every tear shed in front of a mirror you used to avoid.

So here's my question for you:

Are you ready to stop performing and start living?

Are you ready to trade the fake smile for a real one?

Are you ready for something different?

If the answer is yes—even if it's a scared, shaky, uncertain yes—then welcome home.

This is where your journey begins.

And trust me, it's going to be one hell of a ride.

Book Your Free 30 Min Session

Drop a comment below and tell me: What's one thing you've been avoiding facing about yourself? Let's start the conversation.

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