- Cliff Brown
Being A Black Man Ain't Easy
Being a man is difficult! Being a black man is more difficult! Being a black man and father is even more difficult. Being a black man, father, and husband is even more difficult. No matter how we slice it being black man comes with a set of challenges few face and even fewer understand.
What makes it difficult? What makes it challenging? Black men exist in the world in which are more likely to stop by the police, more likely to face incarceration with longer sentences, more likely to face criminal accusations, more likely to die at the hands of police or those who share our skin tone, and more likely to struggle with gainful employment despite our education, experience, and accomplishment. When surrounded by
subtle messaging and practices which suggest you are not good enough, the black man must develop think skin to survive in such a toxic environment.
In most cases the black man has placed little to no effort in confronting those unresolved issues which make us difficult to love. Black men often operate in relationships and marriages the way operate in life to survive the madness. We keep our inner most feelings, concerns, fears, and desire to ourselves. After all society suggest no one cares about black men any way. And suddenly we find ourselves in the presence of woman whom because our past mistakes, may serve in a male role as the leader, protector, and providers of her household. Add this many spent years indoctrinated in the “I don’t need a man
philosophy.” Because society attempt to get women to view their plight through same lens as black men, at times there is no sympathy or understanding for what he must face daily.
The result is men going through the motion, he loves, and her cares for, he protects, and to the best of his ability he provides and despite it all that woman the one he would die for is getting a very small percentage of what he has to offer. A man must be in a safe place to love! He must know that sharing weaknesses and vulnerabilities will not result in attacks on his character or manhood at the first opportunity. A women must know that despite his best efforts to display strength, at time he is afraid, men do not have all the answers, and we are afraid to the let the women we love down. Brothers we must begin to speak our truth! When something is offensive, we must speak up. We must be willing to
share our deepest fears and concerns with those we love.
It is unfair to expect a woman whom herself is dealing with a set of challenges to read our mind and provide what we require to be safe and give our all. As black men we often operate in a world where peace is not always present or possible, we must demand that peace in our homes and our relationship, and we must be peacemakers within our home. In order have product, satisfying and long lasting marriage, we must become more vocal about that looks like to us.
- Cliff Brown -
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